My work to unlearn the limiting beliefs that have been affecting my romantic life seems like it’s going to be an ongoing process. Here are my newest revelations.

I’m quickly discovering that the nature of personal growth is cyclical. Having written about my self-improvement and self-love strides in the past, it may come as some surprise that I find myself at what feels like another starting point.

Like many women in America, I spent much of my young life worrying about what the men or boys around me thought of me. I was called boy-crazy on more than one occasion during my school days. I’d had more obsessive crushes than years by the time I was 10. That trend would continue for a few more years with a new boy striking my fancy every few months and my entire vision of myself morphing based on what I thought they thought of me.

I recently spent a weekend surrounded by nothing but thin, conventionally beautiful women as a plus-sized, more unconventionally attractive woman. As you might be able to imagine, it took its toll on my self-esteem.

I feel like recently I’ve been bombarded with hyper-specific ads about things I should be worried about happening with my body. Sure, I’m plenty used to hair removal, anti-aging, makeup, and weight loss ads. Those have been constant background noise for most of my life. These new ads though, they’re something else entirely.

Setting and maintaining your standards is one of those skills that people simply don’t talk about enough. However, it’s one of those skills that has the power to affect every single aspect of our lives, for the entirety of our lives, and we’re just left to fend for ourselves.

Have you ever had someone be really nice to you for seemingly no reason? Have you ever been applauded by your peers or bosses for the same amount of work that your colleagues complete? Have you ever felt like you have your pick of the litter in terms of jobs, dates, friends, etc? If so, you probably have some degree of “pretty privilege.”